Running in that nice new scooter

My wife always asks me:

"... sweetie, why is it that you can never get up in the morning except when you are going to ride your bike??..."

Now I don't care who you are but THAT is a "loaded" question that is gonna hurt no matter how you answer it. My tactic.. play stupid or deaf either way your gonna burn anyhow.

So the alarm goes off at 05:45 am. Here are some pointers to follow:

1. UP like a shot to kill the alarm (don't need to wake that which sleeps soundly you know!).
2. If your smart you'll have packed your bike kit out the night before into the room furtherest from the family.
3. Disable the house alarm (HEY! I stay in Johannesburg after-all!!).
4. Tip toe passed the kids room.
5. Sneak into the kitchen and make a cup of coffee (can't fire all cylinders without caffeine).
6. Change into your bike kits (Silent Velcro strips... now there would be a novel idea).
7. Quietly walk to the back of the house where the bikes are parked. (WOOF WOOF WOOF).
8. Beat the dog into submission by giving it "THE STARE, FOOT STAMP and FINGER" (some mutts need more persuasion than that!).
9. Wheel the bike out the front gate.
10. Start her up
11. Lock the house and ....
12. Shush the Mutts again... and
13. Hmph the wifes awake so kiss her goodbye... and..
14. GO GO GO..

So there we are, we are on the road again. The wide open spaces with not a care in the world....except!

You just remember that you bike is brand new and it must be "run in". Stop at the petrol station to tank up because the sales guy was nice enough to leave you only 1/2 a litre fuel in the tank (thanks guys!). Whip out the manual from under the seat and check the "run in" process.

Wow only 4000 rpm until 300K's, well you think... it can't be that bad.... right??

30km's down the road doing all of 100km/h in 6th gear with the rev limiter buzzing at 4000 rpm you want to pull your hair out! Luckily you have a helmet on so you can't do that now but will certainly consider it later!

The traffic comes buzzing by...and then the cyclists and then the guy in a wheel chair overtakes you followed shortly by an old lady with a walker.. (I may be slightly over-exaggeration but its only slightly). But as you head out towards what the bikers know as "Harties and Magalies" (I'll layout some routes there in a separate blog), you begin to notice something strange. Your fingers tips start tingling, then your knuckles. Your nose becomes distinctly numb and you start missing gear shifts because you can't contract your hand over the clutch or feel your feet against the gear selector.

Aaaah yes its winter now. Winter in South Africa is never bad says the European lot. well its bad enough I'll tell you. The ice warning on the bike comes on and stays on. The Temp registers a nice -4 degrees Celsius without the wind chill factor (even at 100km/h). Stay on a bike at that temp long enough and stuff will fall off... I guarantee it!

So me and a brave, although hesitant mate of mine are doing VERY slow laps around the Harties dam. We decide via limited hand signals to STOP and have COFFEE.. it seems that cold temperatures increases man's ability for telepathy.

here we are below enjoying a not so nice "cuppa joe". Seriously if you gonna expect bikers to come to your restaurant then you need a couple of basics:

• DARN GREAT COFFEE
• BIG PORTIONS OF OILY BREAKFAST (usually buffets work best)
• BEER... (why you ask... well you shouldn't ask !!! ) T&C we do not condone alcohol and Motorsports of any kind.

So the place we went to across from the Zoo at the dam was shocking. I now understand why all the other bikers gave us funny looks and went next door... Jeez

Anyhow here is me and me mate having bad coffee.

Wrapping up, much like in the picture, some lessons:

• Check the weather channel before you go for a ride
• Say no if you buddy asks you to accompany him if the above answer is lower than say.. 20 degrees
• DON'T ACCEPT BAD COFFEE
• Plan a better route because the same scenery at 100km/h becomes pretty boring
• If you can afford it pay someone with a Dyno to run your bike in on that rather than driving at a ridiculous pace for 4 hours and only clocking up 237 Km in total.

Laterz!

Delivery of a new Bike **SURPRISE**

So, here I am in the fortunate position of being the happy new owner of my KTM 990 Adventure R. Why did I get a new one you ask? Well... I had unfortunate incident with the tar that caused a surprising amount of damage on my old KTM. To be more exact, it caused R1000.00 more damage than the bike cost me initially...is that even possible?

Anyhow, back to the topic at hand...

I took delivery of my pretty new bike on a Thursday afternoon when they delivered it to my house on a trailer (which is hind sight was probably a good thing). The bike was standing on its center stand right in front of my doorway when I decided to ride it around the house and park it in the bike shed.

Now the way I did this on my old KTM was to get on the bike while it remained on the center stand, start it and nudge it off the stand in 1st gear and continue riding (really looks cool to the average person).

Right, so I saddle the bike, assume the standing position, start the motor, kick it into 1st gear, let it idle a few seconds (for effect), BIG nudge and.......

your expecting an "...away we go...?? I was too. The bike did get off the center stand alright, but as it's tires hit the paving WHOOOSH the handle bars folded right down against the tank!

Getting such a fright I leap off the bike, realizing at the last moment that I was letting my new shiny bike fall. Grabbing at it with all my might I saved her from hitting the deck, just.

PDI my BUTT!

The lesson here I think is a simple one. When you receive a new motorcycle, even though the salesmen assures you that all is in order and the "Pre Delivery Inspection" was done, take out the complimentary tool kit that you should get with a new bike and do a "once over" on all the nuts and bolts you can get your grubby paws onto. Also good idea to check the coolant level, brake fluid and tire pressures while your at it.

It could save you a coupla unforeseen bucks $$ Ka-Ching!!

Welcome

Well well, so I finally am starting that blog I have been talking about for years (really??). wow. The question was always what to blog about and most blogs I have seen are pretty much just useless dumps of information and situations people go through daily. Well I guess I will strive to be different (YEA RIGHT!!!)

So... I suppose the 1st question to answer is to ask HOW will this blog be different. OK so these are some of my ideas.

• I want to try communicate some real findings I make about bikes (whatever that means)
• I want to answer some questions that I have (or are submitted to me) relating to bikes or associated "stuff"
• Share some of the GREAT rides and riding places I find in Africa. (starting in South Africa due to budgetary constraints :-))

OK... lets go...

Firstly a little about little-ol-me. As stated above I'm no one special (well not in the biking world any way).

I have a small family and live in quiet suburbia in a area of Johannesburg, South Africa. I have two bikes currently:

The Suzuki GSX-R 1000 (fondled labeled the "Dame")

I should probably keep this to myself but no this in NOT a picture of my bike, rather a pic of the same "type" of bike. Why you ask? well honestly I can find a decent picture currently in mu collection that shows the bike cleanly without any of my shenanigans...

Then I have the KTM 990 Adventure R (newly named the Duck)

(Ja ja I know...)

Anyhows that all about me for now.

Laters